‘At Dern ‘Possum

Well hit was a half past midnight, dogs was barkin’ at the moon,
Heared a racket underfoot like a warshboard outta tune,
Scrape-scratch, and thumpin’ from in under my floor,
Sount like a jailbreak in under my trailer door.
Porch light a flickern, dog bowl licked bone dry,
Trash can a toppled and I heared that high-pitched cry,
Garden rows was rustlin’ in the pale porch light
That long-tailed possum back on the prowl tonight.

That durn possum, sneakin’ round my place,
White face grinnin’ like he own the whole dern space,
I swung my shovel but he slipped through again,
Back under that trailer like he’s a payin’ rent.
Lord have mercy, I done all I could do,
From the cabbage patch plum to the chicken coop,
So I called them boys an said “just Come on out,”
Four Seasons done fixed what I couldn’t root out.

Now I’m just a country boy from the sticks of Kentucky land,
Ain’t afraid of no critters when ey’s a shovel in my hand,
I chased that varmint through the taters and beans,
Cussin’ up a storm bout to split at the seams.
He’d bare them teeth then flop down dead,
Pop back up ‘fore I could chop off his head,
Slipped through a gap where the tin was bent
Like he’d been sent to spy from the government.

That durn possum, sneakin’ round my place,
White face grinnin’ like he own the whole dern space,
I swung my shovel but he slipped through again,
Back under that trailer like he’s a payin’ rent.
Lord have mercy, I done all I could do,
From the cabbage patch plum to the chicken coop,
So I called them boys an said “just Come on out,”
Four Seasons done fixed what I couldn’t root out.

Lord have mercy, I done all I could do,
So I swallered my pride like momma told me to
Had Four Seasons come out and, patchthat hole up tight—
Now I sleep in peace through about the whole dern night.

Yeah them boys is good at possum huntin…
And I screwed em good… didn’t pay em nuttin’

YEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAW!

Yeah them boys is good at possum huntin…
Shewwwweee….. But they’ll send reinforcements if you don’t pay em somethin’!